Mum Truth #1 – I Cleaned the House. Kids Saw It. Thought We Were Moving.

There’s nothing like the smell of freshly mopped floors… until the kids come storming in with muddy shoes. For about three glorious minutes, my house looked like something from Homes & Gardens. Cushions plumped, toys put away, no Lego landmines underfoot. Bliss.

Then reality arrived.

• Muddy footprints marched straight across the floor I’d just scrubbed.

• A yoghurt lid appeared, somehow glued to the sofa.

• The toddler “helped” by knocking juice onto the rug.

My daughter looked around in shock and said:
“Mom, are we moving?”

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The Never-Ending Cleaning Loop

Cleaning with kids is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos. You’ll never win. You clean one room, they destroy another. You pick up socks, they spawn new socks. Honestly, I’m convinced socks multiply in the laundry basket like gremlins.

I’ve reached the stage where I think I should just put a sign on the front door:

“Excuse the mess. We live here. Also, please send snacks.”

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Quick Fixes That Keep Me (Slightly) Sane

• Baby wipes are life. I’ve cleaned walls, shoes, car seats, and my own sweat, blood and tears with them.

• Hide the chaos. Grab a laundry basket, chuck everything in, shove it in the cupboard. Done. (Until someone finds it.)

• Candles = lies. The house might look like a bomb site, but if it smells like “Vanilla Daydream,” visitors assume I’ve got it together.

• Ten-minute blitz. Timer on, kids armed with bin bags. Winner gets biscuits.

washing baskets that are great for filling and hiding 

if you can BULK buy your baby wipes

 

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Here’s the Truth

Mess isn’t a failure — it’s proof of life. My kids won’t remember the times the floor was spotless. They’ll remember:

• The blanket forts that took over the living room.

• The kitchen discos while pasta boiled.

• The movie nights when we ate popcorn on the sofa (kernels I’ll still be finding in December).

Yes, my house looks like B&M exploded. But it’s full of laughter, chaos, and love. And really? That’s what makes it a home.

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So if you’re sitting in your messy living room, side-eyeing the Lego on the floor and the half-eaten apple also on the floor— you’re not failing. You’re living.

trust me, you’re not alone.

 

Stick around for the next Mom Truth: School Emails Always Arrive at 8pm — or, how to create a Tudor costume with panic, a bedsheet, and prayer.