Monday

Bank holiday Monday. And not just any bank holiday—it’s actually sunny. The first proper sunny bank holiday we’ve had since about forever. So obviously, I’m determined to make the most of it.

I’m out in the garden early, pegging out washing like some sort of smug domestic goddess, tidying up here and there, thinking yes, today is going to be lovely. I even start imagining myself lying on a blanket in the grass, writing in the sunshine like one of those calm, put-together moms you see on Pinterest. (Spoiler: that fantasy doesn’t last long.)

Toddler is sorted—he’s got his snacks, a little tent, and YouTube Kids blaring away on my old phone. I set myself up with my iPad, notebook, and that rare optimism that maybe, just maybe, I can have ten peaceful minutes.

And it is peaceful. The sun is warm, the birds are singing, and I’m thinking ah yes, this is the life.

Then—of course—the universe reminds me who I am.

Out of nowhere, a gust of wind picks up the plastic swimming pool I’d left propped against the fence to dry. Now, you’d think it would just flop to the ground, right? Oh no. Not in my garden. This thing takes flight like it’s auditioning for Fast & Furious: Garden Drift. It comes rolling at me like a rogue tractor tyre, full speed, and smashes me square in the side of the head.

I swear I saw stars. I’m sat there, dazed, trying not to throw up, while my toddler peers out of his tent, mid-Wotsit, asking, “Mommy, you okay?” with genuine concern.

Meanwhile, my 14-year-old—who had front-row seats to the whole disaster from his little log cabin—is howling with laughter. Actually bent double, tears streaming down his face, gasping for air. I’m fairly sure he nearly passed out from laughing at my misfortune. Honestly. What a prick.

So, while I wanted my bank holiday to be a wholesome picture of family and sunshine, it ended with me staggering indoors for a lie down, wondering how I’d just been assaulted by my own paddling pool.

Moral of the story? Bank holidays are never peaceful when you’re a parent. And if you do get a rare moment of calm—duck, because something’s coming for you.

👉 Tell me I’m not the only one—what’s the funniest or most ridiculous thing that’s ever happened to you on a bank holiday? Share your chaos in the comments, because I could use a laugh that doesn’t involve a head injury.