Life with Anxiety

Navigating life with Anxiety

Living with anxiety and depression often feels like being locked in a rollercoaster ride with no operator in sight. You want to get off, but life has other plans. As I try to pinpoint the ‘whys’ behind these feelings, my children continue to provide endless comic relief and moments of pure chaos—making life just a bit more bearable.

Take, for instance, my recent trip to our local small Tesco to pick up a parcel. In my mind, it was a straightforward expedition—just a quick in-and-out. Little did I know, I was about to embark on an adventure that would send my anxiety levels skyrocketing. Imagine trying to herd blind chickens on a caffeine high, and you’ll have a pretty good idea of what my journey into the shop involved.

I had my three youngest children in tow. My three-year-old, the self-proclaimed daredevil of the family, decided that scaling the fridge was a perfectly reasonable way to reach his drink. I turned my back for just a second, and there he was, half-climbing up the fridge like he was training for the next Olympic Games. “Down you go, Houdini!” I called, my voice a mix of amusement and slight panic. Honestly, I should’ve added “fledgling circus act handler” to my CV.

Then there was my daughter, who, in a moment of divine enlightenment, declared she absolutely needed fake eyelashes. “Mum, you don’t understand! If I had fake eyelashes, I’d be SO fabulous!” she announced, twirling through the aisles with all the gusto of a mini-movie star. At that moment, I realised that explaining to her that true fabulousness comes from within was about as futile as trying to get toothpaste back in the tube. Instead, I just nodded while she expertly dodged the cereal boxes, determined to find her ‘signature look’ somewhere in the aisles.

And let’s not forget my six-year-old, who was practically buzzing with energy and itching to perform his infamous “zoomies.” As he dashed around the store—an adorable six-year-old tornado—I wondered if I needed to attach a bell to him just to keep track of his whereabouts. “Zoomies!” he shouted gleefully, zipping past startled shoppers as if he were participating in Tesco's very own Olympic trials. You’d think I was raising a superhero rather than just attempting a collect my parcel.

Now, as someone who deals with anxiety, taking three children into public spaces is akin to jumping into a lion's den while wearing a costume made of steak. My palms started to sweat, and my heart raced as I tried to keep everyone in line. By the time we reached the checkout—arms piled high with snacks, and not a single essential item in sight—I felt like a hot, sweaty mess. The cashier, in her usual upbeat manner, started showering us with compliments. “Aren’t they just the cutest?!”

“Thanks,” I managed, all the while thinking that I didn’t need reminders of how cute they were when I felt like I was auditioning for a series of parenting fails. I could almost hear the judging whispers from the other customers. “Look at her. She doesn’t have control of her kids.” I couldn't help but wonder if I should offer everyone a complimentary ticket to my personal circus.

It didn’t help that my 6-year-old decided to launch into a full-on performance about how the people behind us would simply love to hear his impersonation of a puppy barking—perfectly timed with me swiping my card like a frantic magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat. “Please don’t make me regret this trip…” I muttered quietly to myself, as my anxiety bubbled just below the surface, ready to spill over at any moment.

As I finally pushed the kids out and into the car, I couldn’t help but chuckle at the total absurdity of it all. For all the chaos and near-meltdowns, life just wouldn’t be the same without those little whirlwinds of energy keeping me on my toes. Sure, the anxiety didn’t just evaporate with the Tesco bags, but the laughter and love I experienced in those crazy moments remind me that it’s all worth it.

Here’s to more of these glorious adventures in parenting, often coloured with a splash of anxiety and a hefty dose of hilarity. Life may be chaotic, but as long as I have my five by my side, I know I can weather any storm (even if the storm is just a trip to the shop). 

Cheers to the sweet madness of family life!

FiveKidsOneMom ✌🏼