Real Talk

Parenting: The Never-Ending Chaos

Let’s get one thing straight—no one has a clue what they’re doing. When you start out as a parent, you read every book under the sun, watch all the YouTube tutorials, and buy the most Pinterest-worthy baby accessories. But the truth? None of that really prepares you for what’s coming.

Every parenting plan you had goes out the window pretty sharpish. One day you’re a super-organised, “I’ll have everything perfect” hero. The next? You’re duct-taping snacks to the kids or bribing them with promises of sweets just to get out the door. That’s parenting — a constant game of “wing it” and “hope for the best”.

Some Days, They’re Proper Arseholes

Yep, I said it again. Kids can be proper little shits and honestly, they do it with style. Today they’re angels. Tomorrow? They’re throwing tantrums, whining, and refusing to do anything you say except demand more snacks. They’ll push every boundary—and then some.

And don’t forget the tantrums. There’s nothing quite like a meltdown in the middle of Tesco or a full-blown screaming fit when you’re just trying to buy milk. You’ll find yourself doing the ‘walk of shame’ through the aisles, pretending you’re invisible—because everyone’s been there, whether they admit it or not.

The ‘What am I Doing?’ Moments

Some days, surviving the morning without a catastrophic meltdown is practically a win. You’re just trying to get the kids fed, dressed, and out the door without anyone crying or running away. And when that’s done? It’s time for the ultimate game: dinner.

Preparing a meal used to be simple. Now it’s a miracle if they don’t chop their own limbs off trying to ‘help’ in the kitchen. And trying to sneak in some veg? That’s a whole comedy show—can't fool kids who are experts at spotting a hidden veggie from a mile away.

The Never-Ending ‘Why?’

Whoever said kids ask “Why?” a lot was clearly mental. Before breakfast, they’re asking “Why do I have to eat breakfast?” and after half an hour of explaining, you realise they’ve asked a new “Why?” about absolutely everything: “Why is the sky blue?” “Why do I have to wear socks?” “Why can’t I wear my Spider-Man costume to school?”

Honestly, some days I just want to hide behind the sofa. But instead, I just answer with “Because I said so,” and pray for bedtime to come soon.

The Battle of the Bedtime

When the sun starts setting, the fun really begins. It’s battle time. One kid refuses to sleep because “I’m not tired,” while another demands “five more stories” and fifty cuddles.

And try leaving the room without a full-scale siege? You’d have better luck climbing Everest barefoot. There’s eye-rolling, door slamming, and the classic “I’m just going to stay awake forever!” meltdown. Even in exhaustion, you’re expected to be the calming voice whispering, “Go to sleep,” while internally screaming, “Just close your fucking eyes!”

But Here’s the Truth…

Despite all the chaos, the tantrums, and the days when you’d rather hide in the bathroom with a bottle of wine (or five), there’s truly nothing like the moment your kid finally cracks a joke, or the gorgeous way they cling to you when they’re upset.
Parenting is a constant mix of ‘what the hell’ and ‘that’s the best thing ever’. It’s messy, exhausting, and downright ridiculous, but it’s also the reason you get up every day and keep going.

Because in the middle of the madness, your kids will give you smiles that make everything worth it, even when you just want a break.