You ever walk into a room and just know something’s gone terribly wrong?
That was me, Tuesday afternoon. I thought I had two minutes to myself — TWO — to sit down with a cuppa and take a breather. My three-year-old was being suspiciously quiet, which, as every mum knows, is basically nature’s way of saying, brace yourself.
I should’ve known. I really should’ve known.
The Scene of the Crime🚽
I walked upstairs and onto the hallway and what did I find?
Toilet roll. Everywhere.
Not just a bit unravelled — oh no. We’re talking full-blown bog roll apocalypse. Streamers on the bunk bed, wrapped round the door handles, trailed through the hall like it was some kind of budget wedding aisle. The bathroom? Looked like the Andrex puppy had a meltdown.
And there’s my three-year-old, right in the middle of it all, beaming.
Hands on hips. Massive grin.
“LOOK MOMMY! IT SNOW LIKE CHRISTMAS!”
Christmas. (He's referring to snow)
With £6 worth of triple-ply from Tesco, apparently.
Me? Absolutely Done
I stood there blinking, wondering if this was the moment I’d officially lost the plot. I’d just topped up the toilet roll stash. Life was briefly in order. And now? Now I’m knee-deep in white fluffy chaos.
The Sad Attempt to Rewind
Look, I tried to roll it back up.
I really did.
But if you’ve ever tried to re-roll a full toilet roll that’s been unravelled, you’ll know — it’s not happening. The tension’s gone. The structure’s gone. The dignity is long gone.
What you’re left with is some limp, wrinkled spiral that looks like it’s been in a tumble dryer with a toddler.
You roll one way, it puffs out the other.
You pat it down — it unravels again.
It ends up looking like a sad, squashed croissant.
I got halfway through, stared at it, and thought, this is who I am now. A woman trying to reverse time via loo roll.
Spoiler: it went in the bin.
With all the grace of a paper piñata that lost the will to live.
Operation Clean-Up🧽
So I did what all moms do — muttered a quiet swear under my breath, took a deep breath, and accepted defeat.
Bin bag. Spray. Wipe. Move on.
Lesson Learned?
Never trust silence. Silence is when the plotting happens.
Mum Hack of the Week
Keep one emergency toilet roll stashed in the cleaning cupboard like it’s a gold bar. You’ll thank yourself when your toddler’s “creative project” wipes out the entire supply again.
If you’ve ever walked into this kind of madness and just laughed (or cried), you’re in the right place.
Over and out,
FiveKidsOneMom ✌🏼
A Little Hack
Always buy in bulk.....
This is what we tend to buy!
Something isn't quite right.
Your Turn - Tell Me Yours!
Have you ever walked into a scene like this?
Toddler with shampoo? Cat in the bin? Entire tin of baby milk powder across the kitchen floor?
(All of these have happened)
I'd love to hear your stories - comment below.
Let's Laugh (or cry) together.
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