Ah, parenting — the greatest rollercoaster ride you never signed up for, but somehow, you’re all in anyway. As a parent to five amazing (and sometimes completely bonkers) kids, I’ve come to learn that if you’re not laughing, you might actually be crying — so I choose laughter. Today, I’m sharing some secrets, tips, and hilarious truths about managing my chaos and keeping my sanity while trying to entertain my army.

Let’s get one thing straight—no one has a clue what they’re doing. When you start out as a parent, you read every book under the sun, watch all the YouTube tutorials, and buy the most Pinterest-worthy baby accessories. But the truth? None of that really prepares you for what’s coming.

Let’s get real for a minute. Parenting isn’t some perfect Instagram fairy tale where kids are adorable angels 24/7 and your house always looks like a Pinterest dream. Nope. Sometimes it’s a full-blown shit show, and you’re just trying to get through the day without losing your mind. And you know what? That’s absolutely okay.

Ever wake up before the crack of dawn and think, “Today’s going to be easy”? Yeah, me neither. This morning, at the glorious hour of 5:40am, I was rudely awakened by my bat-shit crazy toddler, who apparently believes sleep is for the weak. Without warning, he launches into a full-blown tantrum, shouting, “I hungry!” like he’s stranded on a desert island and auditioning for a survival reality show.