Today was supposed to be glorious. The youngest two stayed home with their dad, which meant I could finally blitz through all the jobs before going back to work tomorrow. A peaceful, productive day for once. Ha. Hilarious.

Today has been non-stop, and I’ll admit it — I’m sulking. I want to be back at work, but instead I’m stuck playing “main parent.” I’ll be fine, but right now I’m moody about it.

Everything’s labelled, packed, and shoved neatly into the boot. I’d even managed a decent night’s sleep, was up and showered by 6am, and sat with my cuppa feeling smug. Three out of five kids were heading back to school today.

What. A. Frigging. Day.

I woke up in an arsy mood today. No real reason—just that heavy, prickly feeling where everything feels like too much. I knew I needed to get out of the house, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t get the toddler to the childminder. I couldn’t get to the post office with the Vinted parcels. I just… couldn’t. And because I couldn’t, I was in a mood and taking it out on everyone.

Bank holiday Monday. And not just any bank holiday—it’s actually sunny. The first proper sunny bank holiday we’ve had since about forever. So obviously, I’m determined to make the most of it.

Today has been stressful—but let’s talk about how I’m trying (keyword: trying) to manage. We’re creeping up to the final week of the summer holidays, which means one thing: the dreaded uniform check.

Up at 5:30am. Yep, the early bird gets the stress—and trust me, I’m no stranger to this routine. I’ve showered, done my hair, got dressed, and I'm sitting with a cup of tea in the kitchen by 6:30am, pretending I’ve got my life together while the house is still hushed in peaceful silence. Little do I know, that moment of calm is just the calm before the toddler storm.

Today, I’m writing with a heart that’s heavy but also lighter than it’s been in a long time. I’ve made the decision to split from my husband. Yeah, I know. Big, heavy, nerve-wracking stuff. It’s the hardest choice I’ve ever had to make, but honestly? It’s also the best one for me and my children right now.

Finally, I had a lie-in. Yes, you heard that right—me, the queen of early mornings and chaos, managed to stay horizontal until… 8:53 AM. Not 6:00, not 7:00—EIGHT FIFTY-THREE. I practically leap out of bed thinking, ‘Is there a gas leak? Have the kids perished in their sleep? Why is it so quiet in the house? Has the universe just hit pause?’ Turns out, they’re all still asleep.

Yesterday’s chaos was just the tip of the iceberg. Picking up my youngest three from after-school club, they mention that Izaac is complaining of pain. Driving home, he’s wincing and hurting, and my stomach plummets. We get home, I put him in the shower, and we talk about what hurts—he’s saying it’s his left testicle.

Today, somebody said to me, “There’s always something going on with you and your life,” and honestly? I got super defensive. I was like, “No, there isn’t!” Yea, I’ve got kids and work, but I manage. I know they didn’t mean anything by it, but in that moment, I just wanted to seem like I’ve got it all under control.